Long time no see!!!!

Today is the greatest day I've ever known!!!! (*not really!)

I had an exam today. An exam that I barely studied for. I pray for a B. Please dear God give me a lousy B. Okay, enough of that.

So I went out with Sarah last night for a few drinks and some karaoke. We always have a good time together. Even in a hole in the wall bar with 5 people including us in it. I killed some Alanis Morissette "You Oughta Know". I'm telling you, in another world I could have been a true performer of sorts. I just love it way too much.

Something weird happened there though. Amanda Blosfield was was there. For those of you who know what happened between us you'll take interest in this. If you don't know....well you aren't going to have any idea what I'm talking about. I anticipated running into her for quite sometime now. We share common friends now that Sarah is dating Mike. I always expected if I ever saw her anywhere she'd cut to the nearest exit. I was wrong. She stayed. I figured we'd be silent and not talk. Just keep stealing glances at each other when we think nobody is looking. Well, we did that for a little while. Then she comes up to me with a bunch of songs written on a piece of paper that I was guessing she wanted me to sing. She didn't say a word to me, just handed the paper to me and walked off. Peace offering?? That's what I thought. Who knows, it might have been. But she's a fucked up crazy bitch so who knows. Anyway, I eventually worked up the nerve to talk to her. The conversation was really odd. Basically her telling me how bad I hurt her and what a whore I am. She definitely has her own side of what happened. Me being an evil nasty villain in the story. She's always been a dramatic judgemental person. So I would expect nothing less from her. However, I know what happened too. And she can play the "woe is me" victim in the story. But that's not at all how it was. It was just weird. Very very weird.

I know she loved me though and I loved her. I could tell she just felt betrayed. It's happened to her a lot. But there was betrayal on her part as well. What happened between us was weird and "Springer" like. But the situation was so unlike anything I've ever been involved in or would ever be involved in again. I miss her so much, but that ship has sailed. Sailed and sunk into a deep dark abyss never to be found again. I just wish she'd realize I didn't lie to her because I hated her. I lied because I loved her and I didn't want to hurt her. The whole situation turned me into a filthy liar for the span of about a year to her, Dan, family, friends and anyone I felt I needed not to know the truth. I'm so glad that's all over. I know Amanda forgives me. She's a fucking cunt....but I know she forgives me.

Guess that's all I have for today.